art is hard

Blogging is difficult for me.  Not in the way I thought; I figured I would have nothing to write about, but thoughts come to me daily that cause me to think, “I should blog about that.”  That isn’t the issue.

The issue, unfortunately, is that I am not entirely sure how to write when I know people are reading.  It’s not that I haven’t written things that people have read, but I’ve never done it so publicly.  I’ve never had to be mindful of what I say, remembering not to say anything I wouldn’t say to my parents or my boss.  I struggle with this because when I write, I am even more expressive than when I talk, and I certainly don’t hold back much when I speak.  I understand the basics: don’t bitch about work on the internet, don’t blatantly speak poorly of people, don’t spread anyone’s deeply personal information all over the internet.

But what about the other stuff?  What about the moments when you realize you owe taxes this year and dread the idea of stomaching your friends’ huge tax returns, coupled with the fact that everyone you know can afford designer clothes and new cars because their parents still give them money, and you are frustrated as hell but can’t write about it, because what if said friends-with-parents’-money are offended? Of course, you don’t mean to offend; you just want to vent, to find someone else out there who is twenty-three and poor, as twenty-three-year-olds probably should be, and struggling to get by on their own, because you sort of feel alone and like no one can relate?  Or what about when you view former high school classmates’ pages on Facebook and are shocked that they’re all married and they all have kids, and you want to write about how crazy it seems, but you don’t want those people to be upset and think you look down on them, because you don’t, or are jealous, because you aren’t?  Or, hey, how about seeing (on purpose) your ex-boyfriend with his girlfriend and your boyfriend in tow?  That kind of thing makes for good stories, sure, but how do you describe the intricacies of relationships without oversharing someone else’s information?

If it were up to me, I would probably plaster my life all over the internet.  The trouble is, my life is tied very tightly with the lives of others, and those are not my stories to tell.  So what’s a girl to do?  The safe road is the boring road, but offending others or causing discomfort isn’t the best plan, either.

This is definitely something I’m going to have to work at, no question about it.  It doesn’t really appear to be only my issue, either.  Heather at White Lotus, White Russian wrote a post about similar issues today.

We’ll see, though. I’m sure I’ll figure something out because that’s just part of blogging, and I’ve promised myself I will actually keep up with this one. Here goes.

3 thoughts on “art is hard

  1. i felt really awkward writing that post about how i don’t want my friends to start getting married yet, because either my friend who got engaged or his fiancee could both be reading what i wrote. (i don’t think they are, but they’re both friends with me on facebook and there’s a link to my profile there, so. . . ) i didn’t want them to think i was picking on them or not happy for them because i am–but at the same time, i know that if i were in their shoes and read that, i’d be a little sad.

    so yeah, it’s hard. i think it’s pointless to have a blog if you’re not going to be honest, but at the same time, honesty sometimes hurts people’s feelings. i’m not sure how to balance that.

  2. I’m glad it’s not just me. I’m used to writing in places where I can control who is reading it, or at least places I don’t advertise on Facebook et al. It’s hard because most of my thoughts and daily observations have so much to do with other people, and I can’t write about that without bringing them into it, but I also don’t want to do so in the wrong way. Sigh.

    • I think you just have to do it. There is a way to tell a story and not say, “John Smith, social security number 123456789.” First names or “my friend” should be enough without losing something. Also, I’m 25 in just over a month, and everyone I know is married. Not only that, they are all starting to have kids. Wtf.

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