hello again, running shoes

I hadn’t run in weeks, but tonight I decided it would be a good idea to start running again. At 10:30pm. On a weeknight.

I’ve been very, very stressed the past few days. When you have a promotion at work (which is good stress, but stress all the same!), a messy apartment, increasing rent, a falling-out with a close friend, and feeling helpless and troubled over the personal issues of someone close to you, life gets a little crazy.

And, my whole life, whenever I’ve felt helpless or angry or like OMG THE WORLD IS EFFING EXPLODING, my instinct has been to run. Not a figurative “running away,” but actually running.

Tonight I actually did it, and it felt amazing. I mean, amazing in that almost-dying and can’t-stop-coughing (thanks, residual cold symptoms!) kind of way. I feel a lot more clear-headed and a lot less like I’m going crazy. I only made it to 0.8 of a mile (my goal was 1 mile but I just could not run anymore), but I’m SO glad I picked it back up. It makes it a lot easier to plan on running again sometime in the next couple days.

I gave up on Couch to 5k when I got sidetracked during week 7. I don’t want to start over and deal with the stopping and starting and walking and running. My new plan is just to see what I can do. Tonight, I ran 0.8 of a mile. Next time, I’ll shoot for at least that – but hopefully a full mile. I’ll do that for awhile until I think I can push myself further, and I really hope that once we actually see some nice weather here I’ll find a good route to run outdoors.

I want to look back on this post when I really don’t feel like running, as a reminder that I’ll be thankful later if I just suck it up and force myself. I also want to look back on this post next time I get the bright idea to go running – even for a short while – at 10:30 at night. I’m wide awake and it’s nearly midnight; tomorrow is not going to be an easy morning.

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