and I know everything that shines ain’t always gonna be gold

I really thought for a while that my whole quarter-life crisis was over, and then the universe decided to be all like “HA!” and bring it right back. Awesome.

I alluded to work issues once upon a time (aka whenever I last wrote). Basically – and in as much detail as I’m going to go into publically – I work for a company that might be bought out or merged. We don’t know when, and we don’t really even know if. It could be tomorrow or it could be in a year, and it could affect our jobs any which way. I could be unemployed or I could be in a pretty cushy seat in a newly-built company that results due to the merger. No one really knows. All we know is that we don’t know.

Knowing me as you do, you can imagine that the anxiety is killing me. Like, really badly. Like, about-to-get-on-crazypills badly. It’s also giving me a lot to think about.

While I love my job and plan on staying to see what happens – at least until it’s clear I should go elsewhere – I need to think about Plan B. What would I do if I was laid off? I know, the obvious answer is “start job hunting” but what if I’m really meant to be doing something else? I’m a corporate recruiter and while I love what I do, it just keeps not working out. I’ve had an embarrassing number of jobs since I graduated college four years ago (this month – man I’m getting old!). Mind you, none of them were jobs at which I failed or from which I was fired… they just didn’t work out for one reason or another.

So maybe I’m in the wrong field. Maybe I believe in signs and have taken this as a sign that I should be doing something else… which brings me right back to Quarterlife Crisis Land. What do I want to be doing? What am I good at? What am I willing to do to get from point A to point B?

For years I’ve come back, over and over, to the idea of being a counselor/therapist. I thought about it in high school. I thought about it in college. I’ve thought about it post-college. Sometimes it’s individual counseling, other times it’s more of a career counseling bent. I don’t really tell people any of this because I expect them to say, “What, you? But you’re crazy! How could you fix other people’s crazy?” or “But you talk too much – how could you exist in a profession where you spend your time listening?” And those are valid.

But there are a lot of people who tell me I’d be good at it. My mother, for one. My boyfriend. When I told a girlfriend recently that I’d taken a career aptitude test that suggested I join the clergy (seriously?), she said “Well, what about if you dropped the religious aspect and just turned it into counseling?” Point taken.

So I don’t know. It’s all just thoughts right now. I have friends who are counselors and friends who are studying to be, so some conversations with them are in order. I’m not saying I’m going to make a career change anytime soon… but I’m starting to think about my options, about what I should be doing, what would make me happy to wake up every morning.

I hate ambiguity, but if nothing else, it’s a good time to start planning. Opportunity and major life changes come in the strangest places sometimes, so I might as well keep my options open.

2 thoughts on “and I know everything that shines ain’t always gonna be gold

  1. You sound like you’ve got a healthy outlook on all of the upcoming unknown stuff! Keep a positive attitude and I hope you find your passion! Would going into counseling involve more schooling?

    • It would be more school, yep. It would be at least a master’s… so it’ll be awhile before I make any huge decisions. I’m playing with a few other graduate school options, as well as not ever going to grad school at all, so hopefully I figure my life out soon! 🙂

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