I recently came across a post on Newlyweds on a Budget (which is a fantastic blog I recently discovered!) that linked back to this article. Yes, that article asks “Are you ready for a baby?” And yes, I was interested in reading it.
I know, I know. I “don’t want kids.” Except, lately, I’m thinking that I do. A few of my coworkers are pregnant and a few others have recently given birth. A ton of people in internet-land have new babies or will shortly. Even just a few short months ago, this made me feel like a crazy person. Why wasn’t I hearing the tick of my biological clock? Why wasn’t I being taken over by baby fever?
And then, suddenly, it hit me. I can’t even explain what it feels like, only that having a kid doesn’t seem like the world’s worst thing anymore. There are times when I actively want a baby. I want to experience a pregnancy. I want to have a little one to take care of and add to my (someday) family. I want to experience the bond between a parent and a child. I want to bring a new little life into the world and raise it through the years.
It’s insane, really, and it’s totally out of nowhere. But it makes me happy because it’s something to look forward to. I knew before reading the article that I’m not ready yet, but it was interesting to think about. The article lists a few questions to ask yourself to help determine if a baby should be in your near future.
Signs You’re Ready…
Your Finances are Rock Solid
Um. They’re great when it comes to supporting myself. They’re probably not the greatest when it comes to diapers and formula and baby clothes. Do people make do on less? Sure, but am I where I want to be financially? No.
You Have a Support System
Yes, absolutely. If the hypothetical child belonged to M. and me, we’d have four very willing grandparents, plus various friends who have been through it before.
You’re Ready to Sacrifice “Me Time”
Not even a little bit, and this scares me. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to give up “me time,” but it’s not like a baby gives you time to yourself. This is even one of the reasons I’ve never wanted kids in the past.
You Can Deal with Discord
Yes, but I do need to learn to be a little… less quick to argue. M. and I can work through our issues when we have them, but sometimes it takes me a little while.
You’ve Got Questions
I’m already starting to look for answers to baby-related questions and I’m not even planning to have one!
Signs You’re Not…
You Both Put Work First
I wouldn’t say that, but my job is important to me. I already know, though, that if the choice came down to staying late at work doing something I could just as easily do another day or getting home to my kid, I’d leave. I’m not much of a workaholic, and neither is M. He just often doesn’t get a choice, thanks to the Army.
You Still Crave Freedom
Yes. Very much so, and this goes back to the me-time issue. I’m not ready to give up coming and going as I please.
You Feel the Pressure
Not really. I’m not feeling pressured at all, but I suspect that as soon as my closest friends start having kids, I might be. Then again, my close girlfriends are either single, in a semi-new relationship or one around the same length as mine, or they don’t want kids.
You Want a Baby Band-Aid
No, no, no. Babies do NOT fix a troubled marriage (I’m also not in a troubled marriage or a marriage at all, but I’m just saying!).
You’re Not on the Same Page
I wouldn’t want to have a kid if we weren’t on the same page. As it is, M. and I are sort of on the same page about all of this. I told him from Day 1 that I didn’t think I wanted kids, and he said he would be okay with or without them. I’ve since told him I might want one after all – but still only one, I’m not giving up my only-child plan! – and he’s on board with that.
So that didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know, but it was good to have it all spelled out. I want kids… eventually. I’ll be ready… but I’m not now. And when I am ready for real, I think I’ll know. Until then, I can just dream about my future perfect baby and all the exciting things he or she will bring to my life.