Losing your job is its own special kind of adventure. Like anything else unfortunate, there’s a grieving process. At first, I almost felt relieved; I’d been worrying about losing my job for over a year and I finally didn’t have to worry anymore. And then I cried, both when I said goodbye to the coworkers I left behind and when I was finally alone behind the wheel of my car. Note to self: driving while bawling hysterically is never a good idea.
And then I stopped being sad and started being awesome. Truth be told, before I even left the office I was sending emails to my network asking for referrals. I was laid off on Friday and I had four interviews the following Monday and Tuesday.
My downfall is that, for some reason, I have a hard time envisioning not getting a job. It’s one of the few things I’m needlessly cocky about, and I tend to go into interviews thinking that of course I’ll be hired, because why wouldn’t I be?
And then when I’m not hired? It’s like the world is ending. Yesterday, I found out I was rejected from a job because my personality test results weren’t satisfactory. As silly as it sounds, it had a pretty big impact. It’s like the layoff hit me all over again and suddenly I realized the real consequences beyond just being sad to not see my favorite people every day.
I’m suddenly envisioning not getting hired anywhere for years. I’m stressing out about where I’ll get insurance, how I’ll sublet my apartment and move back in with my parents and how I’ll afford a storage space if my unemployment runs out. I take catastrophizing to the extreme.
I still have interviews coming up. I have no real reason to have lost hope already, especially since I know it takes most people much, much longer to even get interviews. But I’ve lost a lot of the confidence I had, and I’m going to need to get it back or I’m not going to get anywhere.