Like I mentioned the other day, I’d like to lose a few pounds. Since losing my job and being off work, plus the holiday season, I’ve gained at least five pounds. It’s to the point that it’s actually noticeable to other people, which is not great. Obviously, getting rid of those newly-added pounds would be great, but I’d also love to get down to the weight I “should” be at, which involves losing another ten pounds on top of that.
But man, IT IS HARD. I had a ton of success on Weight Watchers a few years ago (of course I didn’t quite learn to make sustainable changes and I’ve gained all that weight back) and it took over three months to lose fifteen pounds. I know that’s pretty normal, but look back it feels like forever. I’m technically signed up for Weight Watchers right now, but they’ve changed the system and I don’t love it. I could be looking at it all wrong but it just seems like such a low-carb diet now, which doesn’t work for my nearly-vegetarian self. I do appreciate that fruits and vegetables are all zero points, but beyond that, I can’t get myself to love it.
I totally failed this past week. I decided on Tuesday to track my food intake, but starting a new job comes with a lot of celebratory lunches and happy hours and things, plus M. was still off work and we went out a few times. Last night was my best friend’s birthday party so of course there was drinking going on. I think I gave up on tracking on Thursday but I’d be well over my allotted points for the week.
I don’t know how to motivate myself. I don’t like how I look, but I also don’t want to be stressed and miserable and feel like I’m going without. At work, we get free catered lunches a few times a week and I don’t want to be the only person not eating – not just because I hate missing out, but because I don’t want to have to tell everyone I’m dieting and get into a conversation about that.
This week is going to be another challenge. Tomorrow night I have a Junior League meeting which includes dinner. On Wednesday I’m staying late at work for an event that involves dinner and beer. On Thursday I have dinner plans with some friends – at least then, I’ll be able to choose what I eat but I have a hard time making the right choice. I also may have dinner plans on Tuesday. Not only do all those plans impact what I eat, they impact when I can exercise – how do people fit it in when they can’t work out at lunch time?!
This is definitely a process. I want to feel healthy and I want to feel like I look healthy and, let’s be honest, kind of thin. I just don’t know the right way of going about it to see results (preferably not incredibly slowly, as that just makes me discouraged and annoyed) but not feel like I’m restricting to the point of feeling deprived.