the sad

I am very sad. The kind of sad that leaves you slumped on the couch, thinking that if you were just a little less sad a glass of wine or piece of chocolate might actually help, but knowing you’re just a little too sad for that. The kind of sad where you’re tired because of all the crying and because the sadness is sucking out all your energy. The kind of sad you just have to wallow through before you can really get over it.

Is that overdramatic? Probably. But it’s also true. M. left today and I won’t see him for over six weeks. And when I do see him again, it will be for a very brief time before he heads to a war zone for almost a year. I’m not entirely sure how to deal with this kind of sad.

So for right now, I’m just going to let it happen and hope I can deal with it later.

4 thoughts on “the sad

  1. I was there. I cried hard, said every bad word in the book, and then cried again.

    It does get better. You will find ways to stay busy, you will think up creative things to say in emails, and things to send in packages.

    The time will go.

    I’m here to listen:)

    • Thanks, I know it’ll get better… I just hate getting to that point! And I hate being in this situation to begin with. At least this is the last time he’ll deploy FOREVER.

  2. I can’t relate to having an “M” leave, but I can relate to my son going off to the military and later being deployed. We are very close, and its always been just him and I. When he left, I have never cried so much in my entire life. My heart actually broke, and I’ve never experienced any type of sadness that would compare to it. What I did do, was write letters to him, every single day. Some days it was really hard to find something to say, so I’d keep notes during the day of things that I found amusing, like dumb stuff he knows that I do. Things in the news, gossip about celebrities, what cute thing the dog did today. I always tried to keep it upbeat, so he had no idea how bad I was taking it, which is what other parents of deployed kids had advised. There are some great military sights where wives/gf’s/parents chat about stuff, and I found these types of sights very helpful. They were people going through the same thing I was, and it was somehow reassuring to know I wasn’t alone in all this. Later on when he was allowed to have his pc, I emailed him and got to see him on skype and chat. That was great! There is also something called “magic jack”, to talk on a phone through you p.c., but we didn’t have much luck with that, it always cut us off. Skype is the way to go. Things will get better, and will probably make your relationship stronger. I’m sure he’s missing you, as much as your missing him. Sorry for the rambling, I hope some of it helped alittle. You’ll get through it, just like this “cool, overly protective” mom did. 🙂

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