alive

I can’t believe it’s Monday – already almost a week since my surgery last Wednesday. How crazy, right?

I don’t really feel like writing out the entire story of my surgery right now, largely because I’m lazy and would rather drink this coffee I have next to me. However, what’s important to share is that the surgery went well but there is definitely some bad news: I had zero reconstruction.

Let me just let that sink in for a sec. I went from being a normal, decently attractive twenty-seven-year-old woman to having no chest.

The surprising thing is I haven’t totally given up on life yet. I know that sounds overdramatic, but I honestly thought there was no way I could deal with such a thing. Call me vain if you want, but the way I look is important and being comfortable in my own skin is even more important. And this is… not all that comfortable.

The surgeon used a tool to check the blood supply to the area and I guess it was not good enough to place an implant or a tissue expander, so I got nothing. It’s possible she’ll be able to put the expanders in two weeks from the first surgery, but if not, it’ll be three months. And then three months after I get the expanders, I’ll have surgery to replace them with implants.

Notice how this is in no way what I wanted or planned for? Yeah. That.

The good side is that recovery has been so easy – I guess because of the lack of reconstruction. I could be at work right now, except for the flat chest and surgical drains keeping me from ever leaving the house again. I am off of hardcore painkillers and have been since day two. I’m barely even taking Advil anymore. I’m allowed to move around and use my arms and basically do anything other than lift more than ten pounds.

I feel a lot better than I expected, all things considered. I have a post-op appointment on Wednesday with my breast surgeon, but am waiting to hear when I’ll see the plastic surgeon to figure out how to move forward. There’s a lot to worry about (will I have to wait three months? How bad are these surgeries going to be? How am I going to miss so much work?) but I’m trying not to. Hopefully, the worst and scariest part is already over.

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One thought on “alive

  1. Even though things didn’t go exactly as you wanted them to go, I am so happy to hear that you’re safe and recovering. Make sure you keep us updated, and if there’s anything I can do via the internet, LET ME KNOW.

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